Colonize Orbital Space

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Life in the Colony: Space Sonja and Monorails

Revised: July 26,2008
(Note: I, Goodspaceguy Nelson, wrote this fragment-of-fiction because of an email sent to me by Lyle Zapato of the web site http://zapatopi.net/ )

Life in One of the Earth Orbiting Space Colonies: SPACE SONJA and MONORAILS
By Goodspaceguy

Sonja, high in orbit above the Earth and building her career and wearing a pink dress and matching lipstick, floated quickly into the Central Conversation Room of the Boeing Blue District of the Earth orbiting space colony.

Music followed her. Air propelled, computerized, robotic entertainment equipment on a tow line floated in after her. Sonja glanced at the wall size, digital view screen depicting the large blue and white Earth rotating below.

While her computerized equipment set itself up, Sonja smiled at councilors Dave Duwamish and Goodspaceguy. She said, “Davie dear, I received your communicator call while I was having my very, very effective, rejuvenation treatment, and I’m feeling great, and I want to know what you think?” She twirled in zero gravity for him.

Looking at Sonja’s healthy, young appearance, councilor Dave said, “It is amazing what our advancement in rejuvenation technology has achieved. We who can afford it are regaining our youth.”

Staring at joyous Sonja, Goodspaceguy said, “You are beautiful!”

Dave said, “Sonja, this romantic dork is Goodspaceguy, our newly elected councilor. He is an economist and an investor. We are hoping for a lot from his recommendations and his votes for improving our colony, and I have called you here in celebration of his joining our team.”

Sonja handed a computerized card to Goodspaceguy, “Your staring at me is very noticeable, and I want you to know that I do private songs and dances, but no sex … you understand that I am a state approved, professional tease and actress, and I want to keep my license. I specialize in singing the songs of Cher and imitating her spirit. Cher is my inspiration. I am a great singer and imitative entertainer, and I am willing to accept you as one of my clients.”

“Thank you" Goodspaceguy said. "Are there any political issues you have been thinking about?”

To prove that she had been reading, Sonja asked, “When our Boeing orbiting space colony becomes really, really huge, do you think that our descendants … of both we, the current space colonists, and of the new colonists still to be sent up by Boeing and Microsoft and the other space companies of King County … I mean, do you think they will build space monorails or will they continue to float and glide themselves and their equipment through the zero gravity of space, as we do now?”

Councilor Dave Duwamish answered, “My precious, but high-priced Sonja, I think that our descendants will continue to develop our abundant solar power and manufacturing capability and will experiment with monorails, but to make economic sense, monorails require a lot and lot of people in a really small area.”

Goodspaceguy added, “To be profitable, monorails require a huge number of people who use them regularly and around the clock.”

“Isn’t that what we are building here in this colony?” Sonja asked, as she floated about between councilors Dave Duwamish and Goodspaceguy.

“Sonja might be right,” Dave admitted. “Sonja described what we are building.”

Goodspaceguy said, “Down on Earth, I found the expensive subway under Montreal both exciting and depressing, but I found the expensive monorail of Vancouver Canada uplifting.”

“Unfortunately, down on Earth,” Dave Duwamish said, “American cities are usually of such low population density that there is not a high enough concentration of people to enable the users to pay for the publicly owned transit systems. Privatization and competition might be solutions.”

Goodspaceguy agreed, “Since the government has promoted urban sprawl by way of hight restrictions on buildings, the transit users have been spread out over a huge area of low population density. Therefore the government transit systems turn out to be real money losers. The tax payers end up paying for the loss. To lessen the burden on the tax payers, I wanted the people to build beautiful, high density communities filled with sky homes … better than in Vancouver Canada. I wanted to abolish building height restrictions and high permit fees. I wanted to make it easy to build sky-high condominiums and apartment building. I wanted to decrease housing costs by increasing the supply of housing in the air. To get rid of rush hours, I also wanted to build 24 hour, never-stop, go-go cities in King County.”

“You’re so technologically modern,” said Space Sonja.

Goodspaceguy responded, “True, but up here in the high sky of orbital space, our descendants should exercise their muscles for a long time by walking a lot in the gravity corridors to balance out the time they spend playing, floating, and gliding around in zero gravity.”

Her entertainment equipment having set itself up, Sonja then performed her song and dance and wardrobe change imitation of Cher. Upon completion of her songs, she gave goodby hugs and went on to her next tease call.

Having been hugged by Space Sonja (known throughout the colony) Dave Duwamish and Goodspaceguy went walking for exercise in the connecting corridors among the sky homes. They walked about in the Gravity One Level of the exercise corridors of the Earth orbiting Boeing Assembly Colony.

"So, Goodspaceguy, what did you think of Sonja?"

"I felt like we were really spending time with Cher. I like actors and actresses who imitate great people, and Sonja might be an actress to start the movie making industry up here in orbital space. A poem about Sonja and space monorails just popped into my mind."

As Dave and Goodspaceguy walked the gravity one corridors for exercise, Goodspaceguy composed this poem:

Title:
Monorails, Like Sonja, Can Be Fun!
by Goodspaceguy

Bodaciously beautiful call girls
Are expensively fun like monorails,
But Sonja finds that many would-be riders
Are without sufficient money pails!

The would-be-riders ask, “Oh, who will
Pay for our fun and frenzied riding times?”
Look to the sleeping tax payers. Their pockets
Are filled with dollars and dimes.”

Some taxpayers shout, “Please, please stop.
Our dollars and dimes will not be enough!
Let us avoid frenzied transit monorails,
Paying for transit trips will be too tough.”

Let us build more homes up in our sky,
And continue to walk under our Sun.
We want sky homes near our work, but we agree
That monorails, like Sonja, would be fun!

Bodaciously beautiful call girls
Are expensively fun like monorails,
But Sonja finds that many would-be riders
Are without sufficient money pails!


Dave Duwamish said, “I don’t think Sonja is going to like your poem.”
“But, Dave, I suspected that Sonja would like a poem about her.”
“Yes, but Sonja won’t like this one.”
“Well,” Goodspaceguy agreed, “I admit that the connotations is wrong, so I had better change the poem, but this first version is all I have at this time. Writing good poems is not easy.”

5 Comments:

At 2:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Christ this is terrible.

 
At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Deanne said...

Good words.

 
At 8:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we don't have anything like this in Maryland. It's not fair.

 
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